Seventh session...photographed my mom yesterday and it was a little hard to go through some of the images especially since I could guess some of the things probably running through her mind.

After her session she told me to switch places with her and she'll photograph me. Up until that moment, I hadn't really experienced what it was like sitting behind the glass...From the photographer's point of view, you can see the person modeling pretty clearly. Looking out from behind the glass, on the other hand, is a lot harder...everything looks blurred and muffled as if a thick haze is separating you from the world. The glass also quiets sound so its a bit harder to hear too. I finally realized why it was hard for my models to hear me sometimes.

I had only moved a couple feet to sit behind the glass instead of in front of it, yet that simple act altered my environment and my relationship with it. I couldn't see out, my senses were confused...not only did I suddenly feel a little nervous and unsure of myself, but I was alone, I was with myself. Before I was on the outside looking in and now I was on the inside unable to look out...I think I have begun to more fully comprehend the physical experience I am creating for my models and the emotional premise behind my photographs. How during those dark moments we feel so alone...It's easy to look in from the outside, easier when we aren't held down by our own depression. But no one can really understand right? No, when you're behind that glass, when everything looks hazy and dull and unrecognizable how can you communicate, how can you listen, how can you connect...when you can't even see past that half an inch of "glass"?