Artist Statement

Most of us thrive on human connectivity. We want to be wanted, we're unhappy when we're not. So much of our relationship with others is premised upon our fear of isolation...of being alone...being apart from who and what we love...our fear of losing something or someone. What happens when the other side of the connection is gone? Unresolved emotions, high-fives left hanging, hearts that keep searching for something which has already left. We're left in limbo until something takes up the now empty space.

My portraits are a looking glass into ourselves and into others exploring concepts of isolation, navigating through the aftermath of what is left when something vital to ourselves leaves or is taken away. They serve as connections to others traveling through similar waters in an effort to better understand processes of healing. Our desire for community and connectivity lives as a bridge between us and reminds us that we are not alone.

Isolation

It's a concept I've realized I have been exploring indirectly through my work and a word that has recurrently popped into my mind recently. So much of human connectivity is premised upon our fear of isolation...being alone...being apart from who and what we love...our fear of losing something or someone.

Last Friday I did some experimenting with these thoughts in mind. I've had a large piece of glass in my studio this year and I've been itching to use it more.

Today I discussed my installed instillation piece with the thesis group. I put up this instillation two days ago on Monday and was able to see it hung for the first time. Nearing the end of its completion, my mind suddenly opened up onto itself and a flood of new thoughts, ideas and visions entered into my mind. I think perhaps, my mental concentration on this piece was empowered by strong emotions of grief that had momentarily consumed me in a way I had never experienced with my artwork before. As my mind processed potent emotions of love, pain and loss, time seemed to lessen their grip and healing mirrored the beauty I found more and more in both the piece and the process of creating. Themes of community and connectivity seemed to stitch together an emotional tear within me that, until now, had blocked my way from moving on. This project has somehow enabled me to confront emotional demons and process the loss of loved ones...

...I have felt lighter and more open within the past two weeks physically and artistically, and I think this instillation piece has played a vital role in this change. I received wonderful critiques and thoughts from my peers and professors which brought my attention to a theme within my work that I realized had always been there but I had overlooked and forgotten: isolation...isolation within ourselves an from each other...Critiques suggested I expand the instillation into something more complex, creating more "figures" and adding stitching between entities rather than just within individual pieces of "skin," and also exploring different heights and levels. As of now, the strands are equally spaced out in a line, much more mathematical and cold than I want it to be. Community is a concept behind my exploration of human connectivity...tonight's critique was eye-opening not only in terms of the piece's formal qualities, but also in reminding me of the importance of talking about and showing my work to others, both parts of the artistic process as important as the creation
...the revealing and unveiling to others seems to somehow make it all more real.

Strung all the pieces of "skin" together today into six different strands that will be suspended in air from the ceiling...will search for a spot to hang them up tomorrow. This instillation is around 16 ft!

Back in the studio

New year, new semester... down with the old and up with new pieces to display on my walls!

Getting my hands working again in the studio today finishing up last parts of a large instillation piece I have been working on since middle of fall semester. The methodical movement of each process, the passing of time, the music I listen to which moves both hands and heart all have taken part in guiding me through an emotional journey towards a healing, a lyrical understanding of that which cannot be understood.

Reflections and something new...

I feel a little different than how I did at the start of this school year. Looking back on my feelings and on my work that I have produced over the past two years, I'm beginning to feel a sense of relief and lightness that it seemed I had lost through all the grief and struggle and my determination to keep my head above the raging currents of emotions that always threatened to take me under....The world is just so...amazing, amazing. Amazing and crazy and without control. Sitting down with my computer today, I realized that I didn't feel quite so heavy, and I felt as if a film has begun to lift off opening up my soul to a breath of fresh air... I had been sad for so very long. Some sorts of pain never truly go away but time gives perspective and eventually you start noticing the spots of color again that melt over the gray... and a good book always seems to help too.